The House of Representatives was in an uproar today after shocking accusations from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that Florida Representative Ted Yoho was the imposter. Gasps could be heard from the chamber as Cortez began laying out her evidence. She accused Yoho, the former veterinarian who had been elected in a surprise victory in 2013, of standing still right before the lights went out and of not reporting the body of Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, despite coming from the direction where Clyburn was found.

Analysts have called this turn “unexpected” and “potentially damaging to upcoming bipartisan legislation.” We Zoomed in our political analyst Dr. Verman Politiczuck for his thoughts. “Ah yes. This reminds me of the time Yoho called her a ‘fucking bitch’ after a discussion on the link between crime and poverty. Maybe this is Cortez finally striking back. Yes, quite.” Dr. Politiczuck took a sip of tea, and his connection cut out.

According to inside sources, representatives are divided on believing Cortez's claims. Democrats appear to be more willing to believe that Yoho is an imposter, while Republicans think this is an attempt to distract the House while Cortez finishes a task to pass the Green New Deal.

At press time, the House had somehow managed to eject Ted Cruz, calling it the only thing they could agree upon. After the vote, AOC had been spotted walking into a corner, smirking, and dashing into a vent.