Saying that the news had done its job of whipping them into a terrified frenzy, but that they weren’t entirely sure what they were scared of, the nation reported yesterday that it was sufficiently petrified, but had no frame of reference, after news reported sightings of bocce ball sized hailstones.

“I mean it sure sounded like it was something to be worried about,” said Maryland resident Jane Kesey while cowering in her basement and calling her kids to make sure the hail hadn’t gotten them, “but I guess I don’t actually know how large a bocce ball is. Although usually when the news reports about hail being the size of a ball, the hail is pretty big. Like, I can get really freaked out about golf ball sized hail, ping pong ball sized hail, or even hail the size of eggs, but I was kind of taken aback when my local station reported that bocce ball sized hail was falling in my area. But I decided to play it safe and freak out anyway.”

We also talked to a local Fairfax County resident, Oscar Clemens, about his experience:

“Yeah I heard it on the news, too. I guess I may not be entirely certain about how large a bocce ball is; I think it’s somewhere between the size of a marble and a basketball. Anyway I wasn’t about to find out.”

Despite possessing a crack team of researchers we here at The Snitch, were unable to confirm the bocce ball sized hail, or indeed the existence of a sport called bocce. It is our opinion that this must be an example of that “fake news” we’re hearing so much about.

At press time, we had figured out the size of a bocce ball after one of the players on B-CC’s bocce team threw one through our office’s window.