Last night, Muffin the Cat declared victory in the 2020 Presidential Election, seizing on the chaos of the past several days. Despite being a third party candidate with little press coverage, the orange housecat claimed that he won the election, and that everyone could stop worrying.

“I will say, this certainly upsets all expectations” said our political correspondent Dr. Vermin Politiczuck. “All bets are off the table, and that includes mine. If anyone runs into Igor, tell him I’ll pay on Sunday.”

Muffin entered the race after the first presidential debate, widely seen as a trainwreck. Muffin has been polling at around 8% for the last month, with small drops in support after he ate a bug on live TV and was implicated in a small sexting scandal.

At press time, Muffin’s human interpreters were assuring reporters that “It’s all ok, the nightmare is over, everyone go back to sleep.”