Late yesterday, new documents were leaked confirming that newly pardoned Thanksgiving turkey Cob had been in contact with multiple Russian officials while working for the Trump campaign earlier this year. This shocking revelation comes just days after President Trump pardoned Cob in the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardoning.

The documents show that as far back as January 2020, Cob and his co-conspirator Corn, who was also pardoned by the President, were in contact with officials representing the Kremlin. Each turkey also received fifty thousand dollars in “consulting fees” from a Saudi company believed to be a funnel for Russian oil money.

The documents also describe several meetings between Corn, Cob, Donald Trump Jr., and Sergey Kisliak in a suite at Trump Tower. Ultimately, the meetings were unable to uncover any damaging information on Joe Biden, mostly due to Don Jr.’s incessant squawking and pecking at the furniture.

The pardon came after both Corn and Cob, while talking with investigators from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, pled guilty to attempted collusion with a foreign entity and to not tasting as good as chicken.

At press time, House Democrats scrapped their idea for a strongly worded letter, coming to the conclusion that it would “ruffle too many feathers.”