Earlier today, the war of words between Dr. Fauci and Senator Rand Paul reached a climax when, in a dramatic Shakespearean monologue, Rand Paul accused Dr. Fauci of “political theatre” for wearing masks despite being vaccinated.
The argument between the two reached a head when Rand Paul, wearing a cape and a crown, leapt from his chair onto the desk. After taking a pause to survey the room and build dramatic tension, Paul silently extended his arm and pointed at Dr. Fauci, who sighed. Paul then launched into his monologue accusing Dr. Fauci of disingenuous political acting to score cheap points.
We’ve included a brief excerpt from Senator Paul’s speech below:
RAND PAUL:
Now people listen well and hear my screed,
This doctor stops our minds from being freed,
He wears his mask like all the world’s a stage,
And cause I’m stupid that evokes my rage,
DR. FAUCI:
Senator Paul, is this really the best use of our time?
RAND PAUL:
Silence you foul beast, you bunch backed toad
I have no policies so I must goad,
My base with witless fury or they’ll know,
I’m a phony with naught but shit to show,
How now, it seems my speaking time is up,
A shame that no one here doth give a fuck
DR. FAUCI:
Ok, moving on.
At press time, it has been reported that with no choice but to fight fire with fire, Dr. Fauci reentered the press conference with a skull, knelt on the ground and said: “Alas poor Grandma. This is what happens when you don’t wear a mask, you idiots. Is this clear enough for you!?!”
