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Happy that despite their differences they could still agree on some issues, the United States, Israel, and Saudi Arabia have reportedly achieved a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another after finding common ground on how dead an Iranian nuclear physicist should be.
Thousands of intelligence officers from the U.S.’s CIA, Israel’s Mossad, and Saudi Arabia’s GID reportedly went home to their families a little happier last week, having new confidence that, even though their countries are oftentimes at odds with each other, they can all come together on important issues like murdering Iranian government officials in ineffectual violations of sovereignty.
“You know, it really gives me hope,” thousands of agents all simultaneously said to their families. “Even though we don’t always agree with those [Americans, Saudis, Israelis], we’re not so different when it comes to screwing over Iran in any way possible.”
The countries reportedly achieved an even deeper respect for one another when they all agreed that the Geneva Convention’s prohibition against political assassinations was “more of a guideline than a rule.”