Early yesterday, students in Mr. Smedley’s third period forensic science class were asked to stop planning a bank robbery during class instruction. Seniors Andy Kemp and Colin Gollier were told to “keep it down” by the belabored teacher after loudly sharing details of their plan to overpower the tellers of the nearby Monument Bank. “It was like they had no respect for him,” said Kelly Chan, a junior in the class. “They didn’t even mute themselves when they decided to wear clown masks or planned how to break through the bulletproof glass.”

Andy Kemp, speaking to us on condition of anonymity, revealed his frustration with Mr. Smedley. “He doesn’t let me play Elder Scrolls, he yells at me when I vape on camera, and now he’s trying to stop my bank heist. He’s, like, the worst teacher ever.”

While many students called the heist planning “distracting” and “inconsiderate”, others supported the suppressed attempt. The Zoom call’s chat was flooded with suggestions on how to pick the safes at the small bank. Mr. Smedley spent several minutes trying to get the class back under control, eventually sending the two would-be thieves to a breakout room. There, they finalized their plan to breach the vault and make away with several thousand dollars. Mr. Smedley was later seen making a large withdrawal from Monument Bank.