Earlie this very Monthe, local Bestiaries such as th’ Bethesda Bestiarie and th’ Chevy Chase Chronicle Of Yon Beasties proclaimed a horrid truth: Forsooth, there is a Greate and Terrible Beaste in yon hilles near B-CC! Describ’d by the Bethesda Bestiarie as being “like a great Cur with deep tar-black hair, with a taile that bobb’d just so, as a ship on the sea does”, the Beaste is at least as large as two stall’yons measured dock to muzzle, and englutted two men of God, a prioress, and the Snitche’s Managing Cleric Caleb Levie. Said one local Lorde:
“Yon Beaste did verily englut three of our own Holie men and wimen, as welle as one of yer owne, as your inform’nt proclaimes. Also, it did devour eighty horses at leaste, and one hundred hounds as well.” When ask’d what advice he might aske us to deliver to ye serfs, he did declare, “Staye in thy homes; thine plague from the Far Landes shoulde be reason enoug to do so.” He elab’rated, “In addition, thou must all give me and yer local priests muche gold and foode, for onlie through the Pow’r of God and yer Lord can Beastes such as this be defeat’d,” brandishing a mightey Sworde as he did so.
Many peasants were less optimistic. “Though me Lord and Church are perfect and aw-some in their might,” said local shepherd Trodd Up-On, “I do believe that they Maye have somehow been Incorrect in their assessment of yon Beast. It is known that me mother came from Bodmin Moor escaping the Phantom Cat of the Dark Bogs, and yet heare be a nigh-identical Beaste. Surely, it will Kille all those it does not drive awai.” If this be true, it mae be sent by some God, perhaps a heretic Lord of those Cruel Nords who doth come from across the wat’r and conq’r our rest’raunts that we visite on Lunche Breake. It is saide that these pagan people doth have a Great Wolf named Finrir that they sende their loot to.
Whatever be the origin of this nastie Beaste, it must be conquer’d. Thus, the Snitche doth urge the people of Olde Bethesda to follow our Lorde’s advice and Stay Inside, for fear of Beaste and Plague.
At time of the last cock’s Crowe, the Snitche is org’nizing a funde to hire manie Paladines from a distant lande, so if thee have golde left over after yer Tithe, prithee give it here.
