A new report released by Mommy last night at the dinner table claims that broccoli is very yummy and good for your health. But is this true, or is Mommy lying to get me to eat yucky vegetables? Let’s investigate.

I interviewed Dr. Jonas Inglebing - a very tall man that looks smart with a funny accent from Fälschung University in Germany, somewhere very far away - so he could tell me more on broccoli: “Well you see, Liddel,” said the man, “broccoli has many advantages. It can give you vitamins and minerals, which are very important nutrients and building blocks for your body. Broccoli can also keep your heart healthy and make you live longer!”

Wow! Broccoli sounds amazing. But it tastes like dirt, so I also interviewed an anti-broccoli activist, my friend Johnny, about why you should not eat smelly, crumbly, nasty broccoli: “Well, Lid, my mom made me eat broccoli a week ago and it was sooooo bad that I spit it out later when she wasn’t looking. Then, I fed it to our dog JJ so that the bad broccoli would go away. I would ask JJ what he thought the broccoli tasted like, but he went away on a ten year-long trip to the farm with all the other doggies the day after I gave him the broccoli. But at least I didn’t have to eat it.”

My conclusion: broccoli can be good but it tastes bad. As of press time, I presented my findings to Mommy and she disowned me.