Last week, criminologists at Fälschung University published a shocking report that found only 3% of murderers leave cryptic clue trails regarding their next victim. For more on this story, we asked a member of the research team and a homicide investigator for their views on the report.
“It’s a surprising finding,” said Gareth Landings*, “that so few serial murderers leave clue trails for investigators to follow. Now, I’m no expert, but I’ve been following the blog of Aloysius Pellinore for months now. Based on Pellinore’s account, we were certain that police homicide departments around the world must be swamped with complex clue trails, but the facts just don’t line up with that conclusion.”
The Snitch, eager to hear more on the story, interviewed Scotland Yard investigator Henry Simmons for his opinion on the report.
“Of course murderers don’t leave cryptic clue trails,” said Simmons while verifying our immaculately forged press pass, “do you know what happens when a trail is followed? The murderer is caught. Most murderers don’t want to be caught, so they don’t leave trails in the first place. You blokes need to use your brains; not everything is like the movies.”
Our team was impressed by this insight, and we’ve since resolved to erase all of the clue trails we’ve left at the sites of our previous murders.
As of press time, the report has caused great controversy in the crime scene investigation community, and many dissenters are crying, “but what about Sherlock Holmes?”
*The name of the researcher has been changed to protect anonymity. I think. 90% sure.
