In a shocking turn of events, sources from The Snitch have revealed what many have suspected all along: all Snitch articles are entirely faked.

“I thought everything seemed a little strange at first,” said our source, “but the final straw came when I saw that no one else was saying that that cat was actually president. His name isn’t even Muffin; he's of that article’s writer's cats named Anatole! Oh God, everything is a lie!” he shouted before running away from the parking garage we met in.

Despite many attempts to obscure the truth, we’ve been able to separate Snitch lore from reality. In the Snitch universe, the writers and editors are a team of dedicated student journalists who search endlessly for the truth. In reality, they’re burned out students who meet on Discord. In Snitch lore, everything is needlessly stupid. In reality, things are just a little less stupid. We’ve also ascertained that the writers don’t think anyone will double-check if their articles are in fact true, as they appear to be the same level of stupid as their articles.

As of publication, further investigation has revealed that Editor In Chief Dale Bell is in fact a God-king and that staff writer Caleb Levy has been executed for leaking secrets to our sources.