Early yesterday, sources from inside the first group of students returning to B-CC confirmed that the second they stepped across the threshold, they were set upon by a herd of possums that had taken over the school during quarantine.
For more on this development we talked to Allison Gibson, our anonymous source from inside the group of returning students:
“We had just gotten into the main hall when we heard this chittering from the walkway above us. We looked up and saw something scurry away, but while our attention was diverted, a group of them had assembled around the corner of the front office and they charged us. There was one especially big one that the others followed, it had a scar on its eye and it looked like he was wearing a necklace made of erasers? They were all strangely organized, it was almost like they planned it… Anyway I really didn’t want to stick around to find out what would happen so I kicked my friend in the shin to hobble her, then hightailed it the hell out of there.”
Several teachers had already been in the school the week before students returned; we talked to History teacher Ms. Wallace about her experiences with the possums:
“When I came back to school, I found my classroom occupied by at least thirty possums. They looked like they were trying to break into the book cabinet. After several days of trying to get MCPS to call animal control, one of the possums approached me, almost like they were trying to propose an agreement. In the end I guess we learned to coexist, in exchange for some books on political theory and military strategy, they let me through each morning so I can get to my classroom.”
While the B-CC Administration has managed to reclaim the F-Wing, the possums’ territory still extends through the rest of the school and is seemingly headquartered in the cafeteria, where a capricious and lordy possum-king rules from a makeshift fortress built of chairs and desks.
At press time Snitch Managing Editor Caleb Levy, who was on assignment investigating this possum-king, has reportedly been captured by the marsupials and is being forced to perform as some sort of court jester for their amusement.
