Earlier today, in a breakthrough that scientists around the world are calling “incredible,” “paradigm shifting,” and “obviously fake,” several physicists working at Fälschung University discovered evidence of time dilation, a phenomenon where time literally slows down, while you try to plank.

For more on this shocking discovery we talked to Albert Wells, the preeminent physicist at Fälschung University’s Department of Theoretical Usefulness:

“I first got the idea to investigate this topic after taking an exercise course over Zoom. As I lay there during the plank, feeling my muscles liquifying into a quivering mass while every inch of my body screamed for me to exit the position, I began to wonder how it was possible that only one minute had passed when it felt immeasurably longer.”

Wells’ study was able to find concrete evidence supporting the widely held belief that time literally slows down when someone tries to plank by counting seconds while planking, drawing out the already excruciating exercise even longer.

At press time, Wells moved forward with a new experiment meant to find evidence of time dilation during Zoom math classes.