In a press conference last week demonstrating new innovations set to disrupt the ridesharing industry, Malcolm Vanzetti, a spokesperson for Uber, announced that they would be expanding their premium service to include “Uber Getaway,” a way for crews to obtain low cost getaway drivers for hold-ups, heists, and robberies.

For more on this story we talked to Vanzetti in an exclusive interview given to several news sources after the press conference:

“Our aim is to revolutionize crew building. Before our service, it was a struggle for a criminal mastermind to find a getaway driver, often having to settle for the younger cousin of the demolitions expert who, what they lacked in experience, made up for in spunk. Needless to say, this resulted in countless fiery crashes. Our app now allows masterminds to browse through hundreds of experienced getaway drivers and read reviews from past clients in order to pick the perfect getaway driver.”

We also spoke to Scott Price, a former criminal mastermind who, on the run from the mob, recently entered witness protection in the small town of Rosedale, Mississippi.

“It really was a helpful tool for choosing good drivers. I can still remember some of the reviews; ‘5 Stars: Not afraid to run some people over when push comes to shove.’ ‘3.5 Stars: Decent driver but taste in music is terrible.’ ‘1 Star: Thematically double crossed me.’ Man I wish I had listened to that last one a little more…”

As of press time, we’ve attempted to secure follow up interviews with Price several times but he doesn’t seem to be returning our calls.