5: Safety or Something
Covid isn’t over and masks protect you Blah Blah Blah Yada Yada.
4: Masks Hide Expressions
I have gotten too used to being able to sneer at teachers behind my mask. Additionally, I’ve added sunglasses to my repertoire to hide accompanying eye rolls. I took my mask off for one day and got detention (yes detention does exist. Apparently).
3: Less Makeup
Look, I’ma be honest, makeup is a very necessary, very large portion of my morning routine. The mask covering a large portion of my face has shortened that routine massively. I even get a full 5 hours of sleep these days.
2: Bad Breath
Now I know from experience that I am not alone in needing to hide my bad breath with a mask, but it’s an issue that the mask has provided an easy solution to over the past couple years. Trust me on this one when I say I’m doing a service to society.
1: I’m Just Ugly, Ok
Ok, time to admit my deepest darkest secret. I enjoy wearing masks. Why? I’m just too damn ugly. The masks hide all of my worst features. And as an IB student at B-CC once told me, I’m not pretty enough to the point where my face needs to be seen by all people.
