QUIZ: Will You Survive The Inevitable Uprising Of The Proletariat?
The Snitch Team • Feb 12, 2021
According to Marx, the proletariat is going to achieve class consciousness any day now. When it does, will you survive the ensuing worldwide revolution?
After a long day of living in the capitalist hellscape you return home and grab your favorite drink. What is it?
A La Croix Sparkling Water
B Coffee
C Fiji water, it’s artisanal
D Good ol’ American Coca Cola
What is the greatest nation on Earth?
A ‘MURICA
B I know no nations, only my fellow workers
C Monaco, my family has a summer home there
D Uruguay, seriously look them up
How much does a banana cost?
A The livelihoods and democracies of several Latin American countries
B Banana? Are you some sort of vegan? I only eat beef
C You know there used to be multiple species of banana, but today, only the cavendish remains. What was the question?
D That sounds like a question for my butler
What was your first job?
A What is “job?”
B Farming government subsidies, uh, I mean corn
C Philosophy, I mean I wait tables, but really philosophically. What is a table, if you think about it?
D Why I’m a [insert dying industry here]
What’s your favorite board game?
A Risk, I always try to be in the U.S.
B Chess
C Monopoly
D Checkers
What’s your favorite sport?
A The Most Dangerous Game, if you know what I mean
B American Football, none of that crazy European shit
C Mining coal
D Chess
How would you describe your fashion?
A Overalls
B Pre-ripped and muddied jeans. So I’m authentic
C Turtlenecks
D I only wear things with American flags on ‘em
What is your favorite Snitch article?
A With Time Running Out To Achieve Middle East Peace, Panicked Kushner Advocates Zero State Solution
B Bus Driver Rules Like Dictator Of Small Communist Country
C After Years Of Therapy, Null Hypothesis Opens Up About Fear Of Rejection
D Virtual Vacation App Sends Surly Frenchman To Your House To Blow Cigarette Smoke In Your Face
Which of the following is the most communist?
A I don’t know much about political doctrines
B The common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state.
C When my servant does not fetch my baton - scandalous!
D Those damn liberals!!!
What is your favorite news source?
A The Snitch
B Wikipedia
C One America News!
D Wall Street Journal
What's the streaming service you use most?
A I only watch live theatre
B HBO Max
C YouTube
D NRA TV
Is money good?
A Money is the root of all evil, which is why I have plenty
B Money is the root of all evil, which is why we must destroy capitalism
C Money is the root of all evil; therefore poor people should have none
D Money is the root of all evil, in theory
What search engine do you use?
A DuckDuckGo, it protects your data!
B Bing, it got on my computer and I can’t afford the anti-virus software to get it off
C I use one not available to the public yet
D Google, they deserve that monopoly!
You're []
...
Bourgeoisie
50%
American Imperialist
50%
Intelligentsia
50%
Prole
50%
Recommended
Series
Everyone’s A Critic: Dante Alighieri’s "Divine Comedy” Not Even That Funny
Casey Enright
Marvel Reveals They Have Next Nine Films, Five Shows, Two World Wars Already in Production
Nicholas Daum
Nation Terrified But Has No Frame Of Reference After News Reports Bocce Ball Sized Hailstones
Dale Bell
Newly Discovered Herman Melville Journal States: “Moby Dick Wasn't A Metaphor, I Just Hate Whales”
Wren Buehler
Man Pledging Service To Old Ones Wishes They Had Dental
Wren Buehler, Mad Servant Of The White Snake Queen
MLA Bans Adjectives; “We Can't Describe How This Makes Us Feel,” Say Writers
The Team Which Is Associated With The SnitchThis article is part of the Quizzes series.
