QUIZ: Will You Survive The Inevitable Uprising Of The Proletariat?
The Snitch Team • Feb 12, 2021
According to Marx, the proletariat is going to achieve class consciousness any day now. When it does, will you survive the ensuing worldwide revolution?
After a long day of living in the capitalist hellscape you return home and grab your favorite drink. What is it?
A Good ol’ American Coca Cola
B Fiji water, it’s artisanal
C La Croix Sparkling Water
D Coffee
What is the greatest nation on Earth?
A ‘MURICA
B Monaco, my family has a summer home there
C Uruguay, seriously look them up
D I know no nations, only my fellow workers
How much does a banana cost?
A That sounds like a question for my butler
B Banana? Are you some sort of vegan? I only eat beef
C The livelihoods and democracies of several Latin American countries
D You know there used to be multiple species of banana, but today, only the cavendish remains. What was the question?
What was your first job?
A Why I’m a [insert dying industry here]
B What is “job?”
C Philosophy, I mean I wait tables, but really philosophically. What is a table, if you think about it?
D Farming government subsidies, uh, I mean corn
What’s your favorite board game?
A Monopoly
B Checkers
C Chess
D Risk, I always try to be in the U.S.
What’s your favorite sport?
A Chess
B Mining coal
C The Most Dangerous Game, if you know what I mean
D American Football, none of that crazy European shit
How would you describe your fashion?
A Turtlenecks
B Pre-ripped and muddied jeans. So I’m authentic
C I only wear things with American flags on ‘em
D Overalls
What is your favorite Snitch article?
A Virtual Vacation App Sends Surly Frenchman To Your House To Blow Cigarette Smoke In Your Face
B With Time Running Out To Achieve Middle East Peace, Panicked Kushner Advocates Zero State Solution
C After Years Of Therapy, Null Hypothesis Opens Up About Fear Of Rejection
D Bus Driver Rules Like Dictator Of Small Communist Country
Which of the following is the most communist?
A Those damn liberals!!!
B The common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state.
C When my servant does not fetch my baton - scandalous!
D I don’t know much about political doctrines
What is your favorite news source?
A The Snitch
B Wikipedia
C Wall Street Journal
D One America News!
What's the streaming service you use most?
A YouTube
B HBO Max
C NRA TV
D I only watch live theatre
Is money good?
A Money is the root of all evil, which is why I have plenty
B Money is the root of all evil, in theory
C Money is the root of all evil; therefore poor people should have none
D Money is the root of all evil, which is why we must destroy capitalism
What search engine do you use?
A I use one not available to the public yet
B Google, they deserve that monopoly!
C DuckDuckGo, it protects your data!
D Bing, it got on my computer and I can’t afford the anti-virus software to get it off
You're []
...
Bourgeoisie
50%
American Imperialist
50%
Intelligentsia
50%
Prole
50%
Recommended
Series
Everyone’s A Critic: Dante Alighieri’s "Divine Comedy” Not Even That Funny
Casey Enright
Marvel Reveals They Have Next Nine Films, Five Shows, Two World Wars Already in Production
Nicholas Daum
Nation Terrified But Has No Frame Of Reference After News Reports Bocce Ball Sized Hailstones
Dale Bell
Newly Discovered Herman Melville Journal States: “Moby Dick Wasn't A Metaphor, I Just Hate Whales”
Wren Buehler
Man Pledging Service To Old Ones Wishes They Had Dental
Wren Buehler, Mad Servant Of The White Snake Queen
MLA Bans Adjectives; “We Can't Describe How This Makes Us Feel,” Say Writers
The Team Which Is Associated With The SnitchThis article is part of the Quizzes series.
