QUIZ: Will You Survive The Inevitable Uprising Of The Proletariat?
The Snitch Team • Feb 12, 2021
According to Marx, the proletariat is going to achieve class consciousness any day now. When it does, will you survive the ensuing worldwide revolution?
After a long day of living in the capitalist hellscape you return home and grab your favorite drink. What is it?
A Coffee
B La Croix Sparkling Water
C Fiji water, it’s artisanal
D Good ol’ American Coca Cola
What is the greatest nation on Earth?
A Uruguay, seriously look them up
B Monaco, my family has a summer home there
C ‘MURICA
D I know no nations, only my fellow workers
How much does a banana cost?
A You know there used to be multiple species of banana, but today, only the cavendish remains. What was the question?
B That sounds like a question for my butler
C The livelihoods and democracies of several Latin American countries
D Banana? Are you some sort of vegan? I only eat beef
What was your first job?
A Farming government subsidies, uh, I mean corn
B Philosophy, I mean I wait tables, but really philosophically. What is a table, if you think about it?
C Why I’m a [insert dying industry here]
D What is “job?”
What’s your favorite board game?
A Chess
B Monopoly
C Risk, I always try to be in the U.S.
D Checkers
What’s your favorite sport?
A Mining coal
B American Football, none of that crazy European shit
C Chess
D The Most Dangerous Game, if you know what I mean
How would you describe your fashion?
A Overalls
B I only wear things with American flags on ‘em
C Pre-ripped and muddied jeans. So I’m authentic
D Turtlenecks
What is your favorite Snitch article?
A Bus Driver Rules Like Dictator Of Small Communist Country
B Virtual Vacation App Sends Surly Frenchman To Your House To Blow Cigarette Smoke In Your Face
C After Years Of Therapy, Null Hypothesis Opens Up About Fear Of Rejection
D With Time Running Out To Achieve Middle East Peace, Panicked Kushner Advocates Zero State Solution
Which of the following is the most communist?
A I don’t know much about political doctrines
B When my servant does not fetch my baton - scandalous!
C The common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state.
D Those damn liberals!!!
What is your favorite news source?
A The Snitch
B One America News!
C Wall Street Journal
D Wikipedia
What's the streaming service you use most?
A I only watch live theatre
B NRA TV
C HBO Max
D YouTube
Is money good?
A Money is the root of all evil, in theory
B Money is the root of all evil, which is why we must destroy capitalism
C Money is the root of all evil, which is why I have plenty
D Money is the root of all evil; therefore poor people should have none
What search engine do you use?
A Bing, it got on my computer and I can’t afford the anti-virus software to get it off
B Google, they deserve that monopoly!
C I use one not available to the public yet
D DuckDuckGo, it protects your data!
You're []
...
Bourgeoisie
50%
American Imperialist
50%
Intelligentsia
50%
Prole
50%
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The Team Which Is Associated With The SnitchThis article is part of the Quizzes series.
