QUIZ: Will You Survive The Inevitable Uprising Of The Proletariat?
The Snitch Team • Feb 12, 2021
According to Marx, the proletariat is going to achieve class consciousness any day now. When it does, will you survive the ensuing worldwide revolution?
After a long day of living in the capitalist hellscape you return home and grab your favorite drink. What is it?
A Good ol’ American Coca Cola
B La Croix Sparkling Water
C Fiji water, it’s artisanal
D Coffee
What is the greatest nation on Earth?
A I know no nations, only my fellow workers
B Uruguay, seriously look them up
C ‘MURICA
D Monaco, my family has a summer home there
How much does a banana cost?
A Banana? Are you some sort of vegan? I only eat beef
B That sounds like a question for my butler
C The livelihoods and democracies of several Latin American countries
D You know there used to be multiple species of banana, but today, only the cavendish remains. What was the question?
What was your first job?
A Philosophy, I mean I wait tables, but really philosophically. What is a table, if you think about it?
B Farming government subsidies, uh, I mean corn
C Why I’m a [insert dying industry here]
D What is “job?”
What’s your favorite board game?
A Risk, I always try to be in the U.S.
B Chess
C Monopoly
D Checkers
What’s your favorite sport?
A American Football, none of that crazy European shit
B Chess
C Mining coal
D The Most Dangerous Game, if you know what I mean
How would you describe your fashion?
A Overalls
B Turtlenecks
C Pre-ripped and muddied jeans. So I’m authentic
D I only wear things with American flags on ‘em
What is your favorite Snitch article?
A After Years Of Therapy, Null Hypothesis Opens Up About Fear Of Rejection
B With Time Running Out To Achieve Middle East Peace, Panicked Kushner Advocates Zero State Solution
C Bus Driver Rules Like Dictator Of Small Communist Country
D Virtual Vacation App Sends Surly Frenchman To Your House To Blow Cigarette Smoke In Your Face
Which of the following is the most communist?
A When my servant does not fetch my baton - scandalous!
B Those damn liberals!!!
C The common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state.
D I don’t know much about political doctrines
What is your favorite news source?
A The Snitch
B One America News!
C Wall Street Journal
D Wikipedia
What's the streaming service you use most?
A HBO Max
B YouTube
C I only watch live theatre
D NRA TV
Is money good?
A Money is the root of all evil, which is why I have plenty
B Money is the root of all evil; therefore poor people should have none
C Money is the root of all evil, which is why we must destroy capitalism
D Money is the root of all evil, in theory
What search engine do you use?
A I use one not available to the public yet
B Bing, it got on my computer and I can’t afford the anti-virus software to get it off
C Google, they deserve that monopoly!
D DuckDuckGo, it protects your data!
You're []
...
Bourgeoisie
50%
American Imperialist
50%
Intelligentsia
50%
Prole
50%
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The Team Which Is Associated With The SnitchThis article is part of the Quizzes series.
