QUIZ: Will You Survive The Inevitable Uprising Of The Proletariat?
The Snitch Team • Feb 12, 2021
According to Marx, the proletariat is going to achieve class consciousness any day now. When it does, will you survive the ensuing worldwide revolution?
After a long day of living in the capitalist hellscape you return home and grab your favorite drink. What is it?
A Coffee
B Fiji water, it’s artisanal
C La Croix Sparkling Water
D Good ol’ American Coca Cola
What is the greatest nation on Earth?
A ‘MURICA
B I know no nations, only my fellow workers
C Monaco, my family has a summer home there
D Uruguay, seriously look them up
How much does a banana cost?
A Banana? Are you some sort of vegan? I only eat beef
B You know there used to be multiple species of banana, but today, only the cavendish remains. What was the question?
C That sounds like a question for my butler
D The livelihoods and democracies of several Latin American countries
What was your first job?
A Why I’m a [insert dying industry here]
B What is “job?”
C Farming government subsidies, uh, I mean corn
D Philosophy, I mean I wait tables, but really philosophically. What is a table, if you think about it?
What’s your favorite board game?
A Checkers
B Risk, I always try to be in the U.S.
C Monopoly
D Chess
What’s your favorite sport?
A Chess
B Mining coal
C American Football, none of that crazy European shit
D The Most Dangerous Game, if you know what I mean
How would you describe your fashion?
A I only wear things with American flags on ‘em
B Pre-ripped and muddied jeans. So I’m authentic
C Overalls
D Turtlenecks
What is your favorite Snitch article?
A Bus Driver Rules Like Dictator Of Small Communist Country
B Virtual Vacation App Sends Surly Frenchman To Your House To Blow Cigarette Smoke In Your Face
C After Years Of Therapy, Null Hypothesis Opens Up About Fear Of Rejection
D With Time Running Out To Achieve Middle East Peace, Panicked Kushner Advocates Zero State Solution
Which of the following is the most communist?
A When my servant does not fetch my baton - scandalous!
B Those damn liberals!!!
C The common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state.
D I don’t know much about political doctrines
What is your favorite news source?
A Wall Street Journal
B One America News!
C Wikipedia
D The Snitch
What's the streaming service you use most?
A I only watch live theatre
B HBO Max
C YouTube
D NRA TV
Is money good?
A Money is the root of all evil; therefore poor people should have none
B Money is the root of all evil, which is why I have plenty
C Money is the root of all evil, which is why we must destroy capitalism
D Money is the root of all evil, in theory
What search engine do you use?
A Google, they deserve that monopoly!
B I use one not available to the public yet
C DuckDuckGo, it protects your data!
D Bing, it got on my computer and I can’t afford the anti-virus software to get it off
You're []
...
Bourgeoisie
50%
American Imperialist
50%
Intelligentsia
50%
Prole
50%
Recommended
Series
Everyone’s A Critic: Dante Alighieri’s "Divine Comedy” Not Even That Funny
Casey Enright
Marvel Reveals They Have Next Nine Films, Five Shows, Two World Wars Already in Production
Nicholas Daum
Nation Terrified But Has No Frame Of Reference After News Reports Bocce Ball Sized Hailstones
Dale Bell
Newly Discovered Herman Melville Journal States: “Moby Dick Wasn't A Metaphor, I Just Hate Whales”
Wren Buehler
Man Pledging Service To Old Ones Wishes They Had Dental
Wren Buehler, Mad Servant Of The White Snake Queen
MLA Bans Adjectives; “We Can't Describe How This Makes Us Feel,” Say Writers
The Team Which Is Associated With The SnitchThis article is part of the Quizzes series.
